So many couples look for the “right” way to think and act to ensure the health of their relationship. Some may read the most popular relationship-enhancing self-help books. Others watch successful couples to (hopefully) unlock the answers to making a marriage work. We look for the answers outside of ourselves, believing that we do not have…
It is painful to be in a relationship where you sit up at night trying to figure out how to feel connected again. The silence between you and your partner is uncomfortable and familiar. Many couples come into my office with similar stories:1. They are better friends or roommates than they are lovers 2. The kids left and now they…
Most couples come to marriage/couple counseling stating that they have difficulty communicating. One spouse may say, “My partner never listens to me”. The other may say, “You are always complaining”. One may communicate too much, while the other, too little. It’s frustrating and sometimes even depressing when you feel the person you want to connect with…
I almost died. We almost died. It would have been all my fault. Maybe I’m being dramatic. The point is: We were careening down a steep hill toward the murky depths of Deer Creek, and I was totally out of control. Here’s what happened. My husband and I were away enjoying a romantic weekend getaway…
All hands on deck! I assume if you are reading this that your home is much like ours around this time of year. We struggle with coordinating open houses, supply lists, paperwork, clothes, shoes, new teachers, and bus routes, the list seems to never end. Lazy summer mornings are traded for pre-dawn wake-ups and 100-meter dashes to the…
Let’s face it. Most of us avoid the difficult conversations with our partners because we don’t want it to start another fight. Soon, we find ourselves doing a cost-benefit analysis. Is the desired outcome worth the cost of an argument today? Some days, we feel brave and start the conversation while bracing ourselves for the emotional consequences. Other…
Feel like you are in a tug-of-war for your lover’s heart? One of the biggest challenges couples face is the over-involvement of family members in the committed relationship. The trouble comes when a relationship with family members is unhealthy and creates discord between lovers. Many couples come into therapy wanting to work on the relationship between them, but neglect to invite one key participant: this third person. For readability, I will use the term…
Many times, couples find it difficult to be intimate in their relationship. Between work, kids, family, and other activities, there is not much time or energy left for love. Here are 3 things you can do today to rekindle the spark you are missing. Touch Her Touch Her Heart- That is right, we are talking about romance. You MUST continue to pursue your partner….
The holiday season can be a time for connection and renewal if we are intentional about putting effort toward improving the relationship at home.
One of the hardest things for couples who are trying to recover from infidelity to understand is the need for conflict in order to heal. Many couples take the constant conflict as a sign that they are not doing well or have “unhealthy” patterns. This could be the case, but the presence of conflict does not signal…