Need More Intimacy In Your Relationship? Here Are 3 Ways To Touch Your Partner To Ignite the Spark
Many times, couples find it difficult to be intimate in their relationship. Between work, kids, family, and other activities, there is not much time or energy left for closeness or affection. Often, we understand that building intimacy and connection in a relationship is important, but many people struggle with how. Here are 3 things you can do today to improve sexual intimacy in your relationship and rekindle the spark you are missing.
Touch Her
Touch Her Heart– That is right, we are talking about romance. You MUST continue to pursue your partner. This means doing the things you did when the relationship was still new. Do you still tell your love that certain love songs remind you of her? Do you still bring home little gifts or cards to let her know you are thinking of her? I am sure over time, you have learned a thing or two that makes her heart melt. Knowledge of your partner’s desires improves intimacy in your relationship. This is your way back to her heart. If you have forgotten, this is the time to relearn. If you are sure you know, find out anyway. You may find that she has changed over time. Pursuing her to find out what ignites passion in her may meet her need for the emotional connection may women need. If you ask her earnestly to share her heart, she is more likely to share her body.
Touch Her Mind- When is the last time you asked her opinion or had an adult discussion? Are your conversations centered around work, kids, or complaints? These types of conversations are mood-killers. Try having a conversation about her dreams. What about her fears? Do you know what makes her “tick”? The answers may surprise you and will build toward the emotional intimacy she craves. A woman who feels emotionally intimate is far more likely to be physically intimate.
Touch Her To-Do List- In many cases, women who feel overwhelmed by the demands of life experience a drastic reduction in sexual arousal. If her plate is full with life, she will struggle to find the energy to be the goddess you want in the bedroom. Do you and her a favor; help her with her to-do list. This tells her that she is not alone and that the two of you are a team. Many women refuse sex because they do not feel supported in other aspects of life. This does not mean that you vacuum once and hop in the sack. This is a change in her perception of the relationship over time. Sometimes it takes a whole season before a group of players becomes a team.
Touch Him
Touch His Ego- In my experience working with couples who are recovering from affairs, I found many men go to great lengths for an ego boost. They want to feel desired and esteemed to the person they are closest to. Do you desire him? If not, the issues are deeper than can be addressed in this blog; but if so, tell him! This ego boost will do wonders for his sex drive and being available to you. Men who feel respected by their partners are more open to doing what it takes to keep the love of their life happy.
Touch His Playful Spirit- Being in love is supposed to be fun. A key indicator for the health of a relationship is how well the couple plays together. Can you truly enjoy one another’s company? A friendly game of Monopoly or chess may remind you why you wanted to spend all of your time together in the first place. Playing basketball or going to an arcade may rekindle the enjoyment you found in the beginning of your relationship. Find time to be carefree and let him see the girl he married fell in love with is still in there somewhere.
Touch His Body- This post would not be complete without suggesting an actual, physical touch. Skin-to-skin contact does wonders for intimacy of all kinds. Non-sexual touch is beneficial for both partners as it is the link to the friendship in the relationship. If done right, it will release Oxytocin in the brain that is used for bonding. Knowing what kind physical closeness sends him the message he is desired is crucial. When was the last time you asked him?
These suggestions may not be perfect answers for your partner. They are based on research of cis gender folx in heterosexual relationships, unfortunately, but those are the folx who asked for this information. The good news is I don’t think trying some of these suggestions would hurt as much as not doing anything at all. The best “fix” is knowing and providing exactly what YOUR partner needs. That is where you build intimacy in a relationship. Intimacy is being open to allowing another person to see the real you and feeling safe enough to trust them with who you really are. It takes many forms: physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. Many times, couples come to counseling because their relationship is starving for attention. These suggestions may not help all couples, but all relationships need attention. What you invest your time, energy, and resources in will thrive; what you neglect will perish. Your relationship, your life, and your legacy are worth the investment!
Key Takeaways
- Couples often struggle to improve intimacy in their relationship due to busy lives and lack of energy.
- To rekindle intimacy, pursue your partner emotionally and physically through thoughtful gestures and meaningful conversations.
- Help your partner with their to-do list to alleviate stress, which can enhance their sexual desire.
- Men need boosts to their ego and playful interactions to feel desired and connected, reinforcing intimacy.
- Building intimacy is about knowledge and trust; invest time and effort to ensure the relationship thrives.
If you are in the state of Ohio and would like a guide to rekindling the spark between you I’d love to help! Click Here to learn more about me.