Knowing when to begin the process of finding a marriage counselor is an arduous task for some couples. Marital distress is exhausting and seemingly all consuming, but some couples assume it will get better over time. This is true for some, but not true for many others. Many marriages suffer unnecessarily because the couple waits so long to reach out. My experience with couples tells me if you are thinking about it, you should probably take that insight seriously; it may save your relationship. Here are some signs that it may be time to seek assistance with getting your relationship back on track.
You Acknowledge Your Relationship Is Not Working
Some people expect their marital bond and happiness to decline over time. This is not the natural life cycle of a relationship. If you find that your marriage is suffering, stagnant, or emotionally painful than it is not working. We can feel when our relationships are not working. We no longer look forward to coming home from work or spending time together. Small disagreements turn into huge arguments. Neither of you feel loved, supported, or appreciated. You may have even tried to fix it on your own but nothing seems to work. This may mean it is time to reach out for help.
You Need A Blueprint For A Successful Marriage
Most of us haven't the slightest idea how to make a marriage work in 2017. The blueprint set forth by successful marriages in previous generations has become outdated. We have concerns we did not have in the past. We have to juggle social media, unlimited internet access, many of us have double income households, children, great careers, building businesses, etc. We struggle to figure out what our relationships are supposed to look like. If this is your struggle, you may consider an objective, well-trained ear to help you to define what your successful relationship will look like.
Things Are Not Getting Better
Every relationship has ups and downs. Some days you tell yourself that forever is not long enough to be in love with this person. Other days you question why you chose this person in the first place. Bumps in the road are normal and healthy. You will not be madly in love all of the time. Some days you will just be mad. You may consider making the call to a relationship therapist when the bad days far outweigh the good days, or the good days are so far and few between that you have lost track. This is a sign you may need some tools to help you communicate with one another more effectively.
Some people still struggle with the stigma of couples counseling as if they are admitting defeat. This belief could not be further from truth. You are admitting defeat when you don't try. You are most powerful when you decide to work toward what you want. Relationship therapy is about investing in the commitment you made to one another. The road back to one another is not easy, but it is definitely worth it.